What If Some Of Your Fears Are Not True?

We pick up the third part of our fear trilogy by naming fear as a learned habit and showing how “what could go wrong” quietly becomes a lifestyle. We trade outcome obsession for a cleaner focus on why we want something, what success means to us, and what practical steps let us move forward anyway. 

• normalizing fear as programming rather than personal failure 
• how families, workplaces, and industries reward worst-case thinking 
• spotting the trigger moment when fear flips into “I can’t” 
• fear of judgment plus fear of success showing up together 
• shifting from outcome fixation to process and curiosity 
• using probabilities realistically instead of letting tiny risks run the show 
• the pontoon boat story as a model for moving through fear 
• working-from-home patterns that intensify leaving-the-house anxiety 
• treating fear as a friend and asking what you need to do anyway 
• defining success as doing what we said we would do 

Transcript

Summer Catch Up And Nature Notes

SPEAKER_02 0:10

We are on the line.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

It's been a while.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Yeah. It's been a while since we've had to say it's been a while.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

And it's been a whole series of wonderful summer days with one rainy day in the middle. And today it's cool, but it's clear. And it's summery but cool summery.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of nice, but not tanning weather yet. Or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

The osprey was flying around fishing. And the hummingbird has come and gone, and now the Oreo is attacking the hummingbird feeder.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Yeah, you look at an Oreo, you don't realize how long their beaks are to see them.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

We

Why Fear Feels So Normal

SPEAKER_00 0:52

were talking about fear, and we got to the point where we were doing our uh our third of the fear trilogy, because we tend to do trilogies, and we got sidetrapped.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yeah. I had a bug, stomach bug for a little bit, I think, that ran through my whole system. Some weird stuff going on. And then we had our own fears.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Yeah. Regularly arrived daily. Anyway, this would this would be the third. And then what we try to do is talk about, you know, how you might address that. You know, a lot of people suffer, right? It's not just the fact that the world can be scary or that they can be afraid of certain things. It's that we really cling to those emotions because we think they're good for us. And that's, I think, the first most important thing is no judgment here. There's there's no room, there's no time. It's it's a waste of energy to judge that fears sometimes get the better of. It is something you're programmed to do, it is something you've been raised to think. It is a characteristic that in strange ways we admire, right? You know, we hire people who who tell us all the things that could go wrong. I mean, I think of the insurance industry as a complete industry on what could go wrong. And they can do the math and know exactly what the probabilities are that something will go wrong. And further, what the probabilities are of the outcome, the injuries, the damages, the loss, and how much that is worth. And therefore, this is how much you should pay for insurance. And we we look at that industry and and we we admire it. And we we spend our lives thinking, you know, we we need life insurance and house insurance and car insurance and insurance for our businesses and insurance for our offices. And it we are we are really normalizing that we should be spending time and energy figuring out what to be afraid of.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

And not just as a society, but as a family, as a as a group of people, as friendships. You know, we we think we're doing each other a favor by telling each other to be careful.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Yeah, look out for this. This could happen.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah. Sort of a natural thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

To think that we're loving somebody.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah, I think that's why uh you hear so often nowadays, or at least I do, I don't know if I ever announced that, but you know, to just do your thing, don't tell anybody until it's basically done. Because they will point out. I mean, I'm sure some people will be like, yeah, go for it, but most will point out what to be careful of. And that seems to, with people, shut it right down.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Well, it would. I mean, that's the that's the habit. And I think that's as as we go, that's our thing. Our thing is to talk about the mental habit. You know, the mind is a habit creating machine. If it does something and it works, it tries to do it over and over and over again. When we're very, very young, we are taught to be careful, to be cautious, to be scared, yeah, to be

How Society Rewards Worst Case Thinking

SPEAKER_00 4:06

afraid. And it's not that we want to deny the love that might be in that, but it's more that it's it's not really helpful when it comes to living. To be in the habit of thinking about what could go wrong before you attempt anything, yeah, is the habit that holds everyone locked down and just holding back in terms of who they are and what they could be and what they want to try and what they want to experience and what they want to experiment with and what they want to enjoy. And so I think you know, step one is acknowledging the habit of it all and observing the habit in yourself, how it comes about. You know, when does it when does it get triggered? What do you think is the moment, you know, when those fears start to kick in?

SPEAKER_02 4:59

I think there's a few moments. I'm sure there's many, but um fears start to kick in when I think about the outcome, maybe about people's my perceived judgment, my perceived thoughts of people's judgment. And I say perceived for a reason because uh maybe they're not judging me, but I put myself there. Sometimes success feels a little freaky because that means that oh, I've done this thing and maybe I gotta keep doing this thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

It's kind of funny when we fear success. Because to be able to get to the point of success, we've had to overcome a bunch of fears of embarrassment. Yeah, the fears of shame. And then when we've we've said to ourselves, no, I I want to do it, I'm gonna take the chance. And then we think, oh, well, what if we're successful? And then we get that set of fears. You know, what's gonna happen to me if things go well?

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yeah. Or what if I'm not successful? What if I've done this thing and put myself out there and then it just flops?

SPEAKER_00 6:08

That's another program we have, you know. Another program we have is that we think everything has to make sense and lead towards profit and celebrity. We think that everything that we do needs to somehow turn into a way of getting rich.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Where it's not worth doing. What are you gonna what could you possibly get out of sitting and writing poetry? I could never sell the poem, I could never be a published poet.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Uh we get ahead of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Like who says, I like your saying, who says I can't do that? Can you say what it is?

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Says who?

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Says who everyone else can do that, but me? No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

We we stack fears on fears, and the fears, I think the first one is just to observe how we do it, just observe when we do it. But you know, the the thought of the outcome is often a distraction. Yeah, um, it's a distraction for so many things. We think about what will come of this rather than how will it feel to just do it.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Maybe it's art, maybe it's travel, maybe it's writing, maybe it's making a TikTok, maybe it's introducing yourself to somebody, maybe it's starting a business. Um, I think that it's important to observe in kind of that detached way, because as soon as you step back and say, Oh, there's fear there, not I'm afraid, or we more we often just jump to I can't. I can't do that. And then it's one of my favorite things, you know, when somebody says I can't, and I say, Well, what would happen if you did? And they're just paralyzed, they don't have an answer, they can't get past the fear to imagine what they're actually afraid of.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

And I think that that is the magic moment. We are so oriented towards anticipating what could go wrong. We are we admire those who can

Fear Of Judgment And Fear Of Success

SPEAKER_00 8:18

think of all the things that would go wrong. When I was a lawyer, I mean, I would just get paid. I mean, the size of a contract, right? It could be two pages, ten pages, a hundred pages. That's determined by all the things that could go wrong. And the lawyer gets paid by the page. So there's this reward for thinking about all the things that could go wrong, and therefore protecting yourself from all those things by anticipating them. It is such an interesting phenomenon that we hold in esteem those who can think of all the things that could go wrong, that we get in the habit of imagining what can go wrong before we've taken the time to imagine what can go wrong.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah. Yeah. I find myself teetering on both ends. Like some things I I feel like, oh, I need to, I need to think about this and probably not even start it in the end. Or some things, as you've come to know me over the years, I just start and then I do, and I don't think about it, but then there's things I have to fix along the way. Hoping for a balance someday, Zoom.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Well, I think you do have an exceptional ability to try new things. I think the average person doesn't fall towards doing new things. And I think you tend to try things, and that's I think that's admirable. I don't think, you know, from my outside observation that you're free of the the fears. No, definitely not. But I think just as what could go wrong is a habitual way of thinking, following the excitement and the joy can be habitual as well. I mean, you watch little kids before they've been fully programmed into the world, and they just move from interesting thing to interesting thing. And when they sit down with a toy, right, they're not thinking about setting a world record or becoming famous or seeing how much money they can make from it. For them, the problem sits in front of them and they want to solve it. Stack these blocks. Let's see if I can do it. You know, uh a piece of string can be a joy to a child.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Just finding all the different things they can do with it. Okay. Exploration gets really, really held back by fear. I mean, we admire people who overcome their fears as well. We admire people who we look at what they do and we think, well, I could never do that. I'd be afraid to do that. I'd and they try it anyway. And I think that the observation of when and how the fear thoughts kick in and seeing them as habits are not truth. So many aspects of what we fear, so many dimensions of what we fear, and not the least of which just the likelihood of what we fear is so small.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Like the likelihood of it happening, the negative thing, the negative thing happening.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Right, it really is small.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

And it doesn't take much for us to say, I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

And that too is a program.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Yeah, and I think you know, that comes from well, obviously, we always go back to childhood. I think it can be built up though, as an adult. I know that for me, when I was let go from uh one of the jobs that I had, that built up a right away of a major fear of letting anybody down, right? Because I had not only let myself down, but let others down about me and my abilities in that job. And you know, that was my perception of it.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

What what do you think would be another perception of it? What do you think is my perception of it?

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Well, you saw me fall flat on my face and have a I didn't see it that way.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

That's your interpretation of what happened. But you saw it for what it was, what was actually I saw what it was was you were trying to fit into a work environment that didn't fit. Yeah. You were willing to to stretch and bend yourself to fit into something that was just not you.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

So it's interesting that we find ourselves interpreting our own activities through the eye of fear and failure when it's neither failure nor something to be afraid of. I mean, you learn so much about yourself by trying.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

You learn so much about what you wanted by trying. And sometimes when we learn from uh, I don't like the word failure. I like the phrase now. My favorite phrase now is things didn't go the way we anticipated. You know, we talk about mistakes or we talk about failures. Nah, things just didn't go the way we anticipated. Things didn't go the way we thought. And when things don't go the way we thought, we learn. And when you focus on the learning, geez, just about everything is a good idea to try. Right? We we get fixated on the idea that success can only take certain shapes. You know, we we not only do we praise people who uh are able to spot all risks, but we also praise people who get rich, and we praise people who get famous. And so little of what we do needs to be oriented about, right? The satisfaction, the joy of

The Boat Story And The Power Shift

SPEAKER_00 14:00

trying something new is not in getting rich or getting famous. You know, uh I think of you know, five years ago as just a really good example from myself. You know, six years ago I bought a boat, great big honking thing, a pontoon boat, 2,500 pounds of boat with a 1,500-pound trailer, and it was in my driveway, and I was scared to try to put it in the water. Like I don't back up trailers really well. What if people are watching? And what if I end up sinking the boat? Well, you can't sink a pontoon boat.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

I don't know that one time.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

It just can't happen, you know. But you think about, I thought about all the things that could go wrong. I wanted that boat so bad, and I was so scared of actually using it. I was so scared of getting in the water and having it not working. And it never once did that in six years, never once did I start it up and go someplace and it didn't just bring me right back home again without any issue. The truth is, all the worrying in the world, all the anticipation of the negative, all it does is stop you. And when we put in front of us what will other people think, we only get leave ourselves with two choices, you know, absolute embarrassment or, you know, being rich and famous. There's no, there's no actual middle ground that says, who cares what other people think? Who cares what other people think? I'm learning, I'm doing this to learn. And if I do it, like I'm never gonna be great at boating until I put it in the water. And then at the end of the season, when I finally got off the nerve to take it to the boat launch and put it in the water and drive it around for a year, it was, oh my god, how do I back it into my driveway?

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Yeah, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

I'm gonna end up in the ditch, I'm gonna make a mistake, I'm gonna something bad's gonna happen. It's gonna fall off the trailer. The things we think about that have no chance of happening at all, right? You know, there's brakes on the truck. All I gotta do is step on the brakes and it'll all stop. Doesn't have to go all the way into the ditch. Even if it starts pointing that way, you can stop. It becomes this unrealistic thing. Fears when we practice what could go wrong, when we practice, you know, how bad can it get? When we practice how shameful I will feel. When that's what I practice in my mind, that's what I'm looking for, and I get paralyzed. Yeah, and when I practice in my mind, instead, oh, I just want to be on the boat. I just want to be on the boat in the middle of the lake, floating there, as I did hundreds of times, just me and the doggy out there in the middle of the lake floating. That's why I wanted it. That's why I had to have one. That's why I'm gonna go through the effort to get it into the water and out of the water at the end of the year. It's about shifting the habit of thinking what could go wrong to a different question. Why do I want this?

SPEAKER_02 17:11

I like in the chat, worrying only takes away today's peace.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

There you go. Yeah, worrying's paying interest on a loan before you borrowed the money. Yeah, I like you know, worrying is imagination about what could go wrong instead of using your imagination to what could go right.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

I wonder why when I

Leaving The House Anxiety And Habit Loops

SPEAKER_02 17:32

I I'm struggling with this recently. I don't know if I've become too much of a homebody, like because I don't go out much anymore, because we don't have the office any longer. I work from home. And so every time I go out now, I have incredible fears that pop up about leaving the house without anybody in it. And I wonder why we believe so I can think of all the bad stuff that can happen while we're away from the house for a little bit. And I can and and I imagine like like like whole movies play out in my head of all the bad things that can happen. And I my body, my mind, I'm like, yep, this is happening. Oh my gosh, like I'm in I'm intuiting this, like this is actually gonna happen. And I try and I tell my mind to F off half the time, like, go away, go away. I can't, don't even put that in my head. Like, who's putting it in my head, right? And but when we switch it to imagining good things, we're like, well, I don't know. I don't know if that's actually gonna happen. Well, it's funny, yeah, yeah. So we don't believe the good things, but we definitely believe the bad things.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Yeah, you've hit so many things. First of all, that's just a practice habit. That's just a practiced habit. And the more you do it, the more you're gonna get good at it. The faster you do it, the faster you're gonna get at it. And then it's gonna become completely unconscious, not just subconscious, it's gonna become unconscious, it's just gonna be a way of being. You're just going to be functioning in a constant state of what could go wrong. And that's just a habit. And and that habit is not helpful because most of what we imagine won't happen. Yeah. Can't happen. Um, sometimes that's the magic. That's the magic moment of just stopping and asking yourself, what am I afraid of? And what is the likelihood of it happening when we're trying to think of being creative, right? I'm being creative, I'm gonna do something really good. I'm gonna write a book. And then I ask myself, well, what is the chances that that book could get published? So maybe 25%, maybe 25%. And that's not enough of a possibility to get me to write the book. But if I can think what could go wrong, I could get embarrassed. What's the likelihood of that? That might only be 10%, and that will stop me from doing it, right? I will use tiny percentage probabilities to stop me from doing things, and I can still use big percentage probabilities of good things and say it's not enough. It needs to be 100%. I need to have 100% chance.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

We use this idea that there's a chance. It's like that that I love that Jim Carrey line, you know, ask, what's the chances of you going out with me or something? And she says, one in a million. And he says, So you say there's a chance, is there? And and that's yeah, that was that was a beautiful, beautiful moment in that movie. Yeah, because you know, he took that tiny, tiny possibility and turned it into something wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Being honest with yourself about what could truly go wrong is a good beginning to get past your fears.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

To even see it as a possibility, but not a probability is a good way to move forward. But a more dramatic shift is to not ask yourself what could go wrong, but ask yourself, why do I want, why do I want to leave the house? What's the good thing waiting for me on the other side? Why do I want this? I think fear should be treated, it should be treated like a friend, right? You don't listen to everything your friends tell you.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Right? Even sometimes they have good intentions, but they're not, you know, you just shouldn't listen to. And we know that about our friends, and we love them anyway.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

And we appreciate them. We don't agree with everything our friends say and think, yet they we still admire them and love them and want to be with them. I think fear should be a friend. Thanks for the warning, thanks for the reminder. Thanks for pointing it out. And then ask that friend, you know, like, well, what could I

Treat Fear Like A Helpful Friend

SPEAKER_00 22:06

do to be able to do it anyway? What should I do to make sure I'm safe so that I can do this thing that I really want to do? And that's kind of like asking, what am I really afraid of? What are the real chances of this thing happening? But a better question is what are the chances? A better question is, well, what would I need to do to be able to do it anyway? Right? Well, you need to make sure you check the lights on the trailer and you need to make sure that the trailer and the hitch is nicely attached, that you've got your safety chains on there. You're going to make sure that you're going to take a route that most people don't drive, and that way you don't have to deal with a lot of traffic. You're going to find the boat launch that has the nice easy approach and use that one instead. And then it's just a matter of backing up and the truck has brakes, so you can stop when things start to go wrong. And now my fear is helpful because it's helped me think through the best approach to this thing that I really want to do, which is get the boat in the water, right? Because I'm going to have so much joy being on the boat.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Yeah, I think I'm trying to remember what I was going to say. I think our there's ego fears too. I want to go back to the book idea is because I I know a lot of people suffer from this. They want to put something out there into the world, they want to do something, they want, whether it's a book or or or being on video, like a TikTok reel or something like, like they want to or even art, right? Doing art. They want to put themselves out there, but there is this ego fear that comes up. And the ego does not want to be embarrassed, it doesn't want to not get published, it doesn't want to not have its art seen by everybody and cherished and bought for thousands of dollars, right? So I think we can get ahead of ourselves like like you said earlier. If I if I'm not published, then I'm not gonna do it. Right. And I think so. I'll tell you, I I suffer from this. And I know I've got a good story, but I have to let go of this idea of being published or how it's all gonna happen, or in my mind thinking about the outcome. And I and I need what I need to do, and it's so hard. When I'm in it, I'm in it, and this is easy what I'm about to say. But when I'm just thinking about it, it's very hard. I need to just enjoy the process, just be creative, enjoy the creative process. This again is very easy when I'm writing, right? When you're head down into it, it's like the best feeling ever. You're you're creating stories, you're having fun, you're curious, you're creative. But if I'm just sitting here not doing anything, thinking about writing, then my ego's like, well, what's the point? Why are you doing this? Who's gonna see? You know, how are people gonna see it? Well, why should I care if everybody sees it? Right? Why should I care if I'm even published? I think bringing myself back from the fear of all that, whatever that is, really, and just enjoying the the creative process. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

What is it that I want from this? What is the the reason that I want to do this? Being focused on the way it feels to be engaged in it. I think we have these habits where we think everything has to lead to something else. We have these habits of thinking that I can't sit and spend an hour a day writing stories because I'll never be a famous author. I write the stories because somehow, somewhere inside me, there is a spark that wants to write stories.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

And satisfying that spark is the thing that takes us to new understandings of ourselves and new understandings of this world that we habitually see as scary, and new understandings of what all of that other stuff does and doesn't mean. It's about the doing, not the outcome.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Why do I want to do this? What is it that I want out of this? What compels me to do this? And then thank you, fear. Thank you for pointing out that things could go wrong. Now, what would I need to do to be able to do this anyway? I want to do it anyway. What would I need to do to protect myself from all those things that you're warning me about? It's the reframe I use in hypnosis. Fear is a warning, not a wall. Fear

Redefining Success And Closing Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 27:00

is a helpful friend that will point out where the rocks are, where the hole in the road is. It's not a wall that says don't do that. It's a warning that this might happen if you do that. Or you gotta watch out for this as you do that. Or make sure you do this, and nothing bad can happen when you do that.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Yeah. I think it can become a wall. Like every fear, if you if you if you cave in like I've done with leaving the house, uh for me in my mind right now, it's just easier not to leave the house because I'm not in this terrible, terrible fear while I'm out. So I think every time I cave into that, I build that wall, right? That brick, those that brick wall gets higher and higher and becomes suddenly like insurmountable. And I think I thank you in the chat for saying that when I worked from home, I experienced the same as you're describing it. Once I went back working outside of my home, those fears went away slowly, and I didn't notice it as much. Thank you for that. I think it's absolutely, yeah, just a habit that I've created.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Let the fear, you know, see the fear as a habit, see the fear as a pattern of thinking, see the fear as protecting you so you can do it anyway. See the fear as a guiding friend saying, watch out for that, not as a wall that says, Don't do it. Yeah, go back to the reason why. What what makes me want to do this? What makes me want to get back in the game? What makes me want to go back to getting out in the world? What makes me want? And then be focused, then allowing yourself to get focused on that positive outcome. Not big, grandiose dreams of you know riches and fame, but deep, satisfying feelings of accomplishment, of experimentation, of growth, of learning.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Can we feel accomplishment without somebody else telling us we've done well?

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Well, again, the technique I've always used is what is success? Well, success is nothing more than doing what you said you were gonna do, right? Success is nothing more than that. Anything else is measuring it in somebody else's terms. Success is doing what I said I was going to do. And there is no such thing as failure, right? People stop trying. Yeah, people say, Oh, I'm not gonna keep doing that. And sometimes that's a really good choice. You know, I was trying this, it wasn't working out, so I stopped doing it. Well, that's not a failure, that's figuring out problems, static.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

And if you say, no, no, no, I want to do this, I'm gonna figure this out, then as long as you don't quit, you've never failed. It's just your path to learning. And anything else is just a just a negative, fearful way of looking at it. And it's not an honest way of looking, and it's not a true way of looking, right? What does success mean? What are you trying to do? What did you want out of this? And keep your focus there. Yeah, it helps you to narrow what you do as well, right? When you're busy trying to satisfy other people, you're gonna be chasing your tail. Yeah, when your success is gonna be defined by other people, you're putting too much power in their hand. If at some point or another the sculptor can step back and say, I like what I've created, I'm done, then it doesn't matter what anybody else says. Yeah, the rest is just taste, it's just fashion, it's just the way other people are busy thinking about how to make a buck. Success is when it's defined by others, is an empty thing. And when success is defined by yourself, it's the enriching thing, it's the satisfaction of it all. Yeah, fear is your friend, treat it like a friend, and like any other friend, you're not gonna let them stop you.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Yeah, what would you say to a friend? You know, thank thanks for letting me know. If you if you know what to say, usually it's like, oh my god, to shut it down. But things like, you know, thanks for your opinion on that, thanks for letting me know. Yeah, what else would you say?

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Well, sometimes when when your friends volunteer fears, you can use that as an opportunity to say, Well, that's not gonna happen. Oh, don't drive down to the city, you might not find a parking spot. What are you talking about? The city's full of parking spots. I'm gonna find a parking spot. Yeah, I'm not gonna be afraid of that. Yeah, you know, don't go, don't drive down to the city, you might run out of gas. Well, I'm gonna put gas in the car. I don't need to worry about that.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

There are there are a lot of times fears pop up crazy, crazy things like a good friend. He just tried to take care of you, but what they want you to be afraid of is just unrealistic. It's not it's not gonna happen. Yeah, and it's too easy to protect yourself. Yeah, fear is your friend, it's a warning, not a wall. Be realistic about what the real chances are that these negative things can happen. Ask the fear, what would I have to do to be able to do it anyway? Yeah, what do I need to do to be able to do it anyway? What is my version of success? What do I want out of this? What is my motivation? These are new mental habits, and they're hard to overcome the old, but these are new mental habits, new ways, new reframes of thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Yeah, yeah. So many layers, layers upon layers. Hmm, okay. Anything else on that? I think we've done a deep dive.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

No, that was the stuff. Fear is a funny thing, but make it your friend, don't let it stop you.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

Yeah, yeah. All right, thank you for hanging out today, and I'll see you later. Have a beautiful day.