Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre
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Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre
Your Guide to Relaxation
Ask us a Question or Leave a Comment!
We trace how stress narrows attention and how small, physical shifts open the door to calm. Breath, broad awareness, and simple reframes help the body signal safety so the mind can let go of its grip.
• shortest days heightening stress and tension
• why the command “relax” backfires
• relaxation as degrees not a switch
• breathwork to cue parasympathetic response
• attention versus awareness as distinct tools
• peripheral vision and sound scanning to unfocus
• body scans and letting sensors go offline
• reading client cues and the hand drop test
• externalizing stress with tables and objects
• present-moment reframe “I am safe here now”
• social trick to help friends relax without saying relax
• healthy redirection versus numbing distractions
We hope this helps a little as you go through your day.
We would love to hear your feedback or questions.
We will respond to both in future episodes.
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We are on the line.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, good. It's a beautiful red sky as the sun comes up.
SPEAKER_00:That's right.
SPEAKER_03:Shortest days of the year now.
SPEAKER_00:I'll say it.
SPEAKER_03:For the next, what is it, 20 20-something days, the days are going to feel gonna get short, short, short. And then for 20 days after that, they're gonna feel short, short, short. And then all of a sudden, boom, it's gonna start to feel like days are getting longer.
SPEAKER_00:Magical.
SPEAKER_03:It's just mathematics, you know, ellipses going around the bodies and and you know what's the word? I've lost the word. Infinite satellites universe. Oh my god, I'm having a brain fart. I've lost a word. Go ahead, tell me to relax.
SPEAKER_00:Relax. Just relax. Oh just come down.
SPEAKER_03:Satellites do what around I'm asking a word person here. Satellites do what going around the world? Satellites are orbit. Orbiting. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:That wasn't me for anyone. For anyone listening, that was in the chat.
SPEAKER_03:They're helping because I got you're here.
SPEAKER_00:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:It's funny how when you miss a word, when you can't find a word, the harder you try. This is actually a good segue. The harder you try, the further the word seems to go away from you. And you you you you frown and you tense up and you damn, where's that word? And it's a word I use, and I know this word, and I I can even see this word. And then the harder you try, and that's why I said tell me to relax, because today's topic is relaxation. Yeah, how relaxed are you right now?
SPEAKER_00:There's a reason we're talking about this today, I think. Yeah, this morning, not so relaxed. Just thinking about Christmas and everything.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. I wonder how many people wake up in these shortening days because of the way the earth orbits around the sun. I wonder how many wake up in a state of non-relaxation. I wonder what you would call that. People will call it stress, people call it anxiety, people would call it mental absorption, fixation. Yeah, I think it's a time of year, especially, you know, around here, where people are are shifting their lives because it's turned into winter all of a sudden. So there's all those things that need to be done. Sitting here still looking at the hose that hasn't been put away. You know, and then they have these big holidays coming up where they're going to see a whole bunch of people, whether it's Thanksgiving or Christmas or both. And there's obligations associated with that. And that, of course, means money most of the time. And some people are just so buttoned down. They save all year long. I knew someone that would save all year long waiting for November 1st. And on November 1st, they would just go and start decorating the house, spending money on Christmas shopping and rap, and and they would be done about you know December 15th, and they would have a room set aside in their house with all this stuff in it, all these things ready to go. The whole house been onced over, and everything is been. So the reason I thought about relaxation is the other day I was watching a video, and it was a video on some doctor treating somebody for something, right? And the doctor, you just gotta look at this doctor and you're saying, you know, what a tight ass. Right? Like that's like this doctor is just so focused and so rigid, and so and the doctor comes in and he's got some thing in his hand, and a needle of some sort, and he walks right up to the patient and he's ready to to just jab. And he looks at the patient for just a split second and says, Relax, and then goes jab. Where is this?
SPEAKER_00:Just on a on a video on oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:No, it wasn't meant to be funny. Well, then it was real.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:There's a doctor providing a treatment, some documentary. Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is it's funny how that happens. Like, you know, we say it to our clients that come in, we put them in a comfortable chair, we lower the lights, maybe put on some background music or put some nice smells in the air. And then we say, Okay, it's time to relax. And they're in a hypnotist chair, they have no clue what's gonna happen. They're they're they're thinking, Oh my god, it's happening. And and we're saying, relax. So I thought, you know, we should examine this idea of relaxation and what it is and how it happens, and what are some techniques? Because I think it's probably it has the potential to be a huge personal skill. Yeah, right. Like I put that on my resume. If if I was if I was applying for some management position, I put on my resume, I have the ability to relax in 30 seconds. I have the ability to detach from the situation and relax my mind and my body to a point of clarity in 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I think that's amazing. And I think just about everybody would love to have that skill. I think it's it's a pretty amazing thing. So I think it's worth talking about relaxation. I'm in the middle of designing and breaking up chunks to do a sleep program for the school, and there's a series of reframes that I use, and there's one that I'm I am, you know, it's a it's a simple idea, and I had to use it on myself the other night. I because the reason I know this stuff, the reason I I've experienced this stuff is because I've been a person who's had sleep issues, an inability to relax my mind and body. So the simple reframe that you're going to experience on school is, you know, sleep is a natural state. When the mind is relaxed and the body is relaxed, it happens.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that's the way it's been since you were born, before you were born. When your mind and your body are relaxed, you will just naturally fall into sleep. But how do I relax? Have any famous stories about relaxing clients?
SPEAKER_00:Excuse me. Sometimes they'll say to me, uh, you know, I'm not I'm not relaxed enough yet. I'm just not there kind of thing. And so we'll do extra techniques of uh let's say going down a set of stairs or imagining uh the beautiful place again. Uh I like I like to use one where I'm having them paint uh in a beautiful place. So they're using a paintbrush in their mind and they're painting in and slowly becoming more real and detailed. I think when we get the imagination involved, uh uh it's very easy to find yourself more and more relaxed. And whether or not, I want to make it clear whether or not you can see in detail or not, or just sense things are there, or just pretend things are there, it's easier to relax. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So I I think you've named a whole bunch of great techniques. You know, I think when it comes to tension, when it comes to non-relaxation, I think it's important to realize that it's it's in degrees. It's in it's not a on-off switch. And I think, you know, that that dodges relax. That's that's thinking it's an on-off switch. And it isn't an on-off switch, and distraction is a great technique. But I think about back in the day when I used to practice law and I used to go see my sister regularly for massage, because it just I was the opposite of relaxed all of the time. And and she said to me, I I lied down on the table and she started to work on an area and I started to laugh. And she said basically, like, oh my god, what we say in in massage is there's tight and then there's really tight and then there's ticklish. And the ticklish is that ultra-level of non-relaxation. And I always remember the story of a client I had, and she came in and she got herself all bundled up and in the chair, and then she just started giggling. Oh my god, it's happening. Oh my god, it's we're doing it, oh my god, it's happening. And of course, there was no way in the world she was going to go into a theta state when she was that high on alert and that so completely tight.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So I think sometimes it's good to realize that tension takes us to the point of nervous laughter sometimes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And uh yeah, it's good to recognize, you know, when we're in situations, if we're in a situation and we're so stressed that we start laughing about it, right? Then the other person, people you're dealing with, they're gonna think you're dismissing it as unimportant because you're laughing. But I think that that's a misunderstanding.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that when people are giggling, when people are giving you nervous laughter, they're actually more stressed than they normally are. This is extreme stress. And so I think it's good to see that, first of all. What degree of non-relaxation am I in? Right. And I don't ever think that it's ever worked for anybody ever to say to somebody, okay, relax.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:It's not something we do on command. And if it's obvious that the person is not relaxed, there are other things and better things to do.
SPEAKER_00:Think about it too, when when we have somebody in or going into hypnosis or they're getting ready in the chair, we don't say relax first. We say taking a deep breath.
SPEAKER_03:There we go. That to me is the first piece of good advice. Go with it.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that's it.
SPEAKER_03:That's why it's like trying to get Hilary to talk. That's why I talk too much.
SPEAKER_00:No, but it's it's yeah, it's true. Like we we want Tike's all excited with our laughter. We want people to relax, but the best thing to start that process is to change the conditions in the body. Right. And so we we are learning more and more about breath work in society. We're hearing more and more about it and how how good it is for slowing down the heart rate, changing the mind in a way where it starts to slow down. Yeah, I I don't know all the science of it, but it definitely changes the, you know, the body.
SPEAKER_03:We can use our we can use our model of the mind, right? Which suggests that the unconscious mind, the deepest part of the mind, is receiving messages from the conscious and subconscious mind of alert, being on alert, kicking in the sympathetic nervous system, and focusing our attention. And this is stuff I think it's important to talk about, talk about attention, talk about awareness. We we narrow our attention to that which is in front of us. We then lose our awareness of everything else around us. Yeah, our eyes dilate, our blood pressure goes up, our breathing shallows, and we are now fully ready for fight or flight. We're now fully prepared, and the body does that all on its own. So to know that there's that deep connection between what you think and how your body responds, and how the body can be shifted out of this state by taking some of these characteristics and these characteristics of focus and forcing the opposite. So to tell somebody, be aware of your peripheral vision is a great thing, right? Now, just for a moment, yourself, be aware of your peripheral vision and notice how that relaxes you. And then take a deep breath, because your breath shallows when you're in this state, take a deep breath and notice how that relaxes you. Now just move your shoulders around and notice how that relaxes you because you have your sub your unconscious mind has received messages from your conscious and subconscious mind to get in full alert, trigger this sympathetic nervous system. Now you are physically giving it the message back. Don't need it, let it go, we're okay. And these are really easy first steps to move people to relaxation. And that's why, like you said, I'm the same way. I always start with the breath. Yeah, a deep breath is a really easy way to lessen tension, to lessen that that fight or flight state, to reduce it. And the then I one of the techniques I use is be aware of all the sounds in the room.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Just be aware of all the sounds in the room. And just the awareness of requires an openness, right? It requires a I don't focus now, I I actually unfocus, right? And by unfocusing, I'm making myself aware. And these are basically the opposites of what goes on when you're in that heightened sympathetic nervous system state that is the opposite of relaxation, right? Yeah. And so to know that, to know that if I can recognize in myself, then I'm tense, that that too is a skill to be able to, you know, say, okay, I'm tense. You know, let's take a deep breath and let's try to figure out what I'm tense about, right? What what am I afraid of? What am I concerned about?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. No, I was just gonna say, like, usually we only recognize it when we start to feel it in the body. And if I if I imagine, you know, somebody who's tense, going from tense to non-tense, non-tense. They're sort of taking their concentration from their head and their and their torso and flowing it outwards. That's what I see anyway, when I think of that. We can get very caught up in this, you know, exactly what I see out my eyes. I'm bringing in information, it's I'm feeling it in my chest, it's tight. I'm I'm all centered here, but not centered in a good good way.
SPEAKER_03:And like that's okay, that's our life. Every once in a while, dodgy barks on the church.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so uh they're we're sort of taking you from being all caught up in the the area just in front of you, just around your head and your and your torso, to being aware of it's sort of funny because we stretch outwards first and then we go inwards, but we're focused on our inner world instead of our body. We let go of the body in a way. Many clients say, you know, I I I feel like I don't even have a body, like I can't even, you know, not not to freak anyone out or anything, but like I, you know, I I thought about moving my arm and I just didn't want to.
SPEAKER_03:I do that all the time with my clients. When they are, you know, when they are in a very focused state. I want to talk about attention and awareness in a second, but when they're in a very focused state, and I will use uh a technique called a body scan or a body relaxation, which is just moving from up the body from the feet to the top of the head, systematically being aware of that body part, putting your attention there, then letting the attention go on the premise that and the phrase I use is you know, you can, you know, your feet now are totally relaxed. You don't need to be aware of them anymore. You can completely let them go because we're not going to use them for a little while. And that's that's just uh an incredible message to the mind that says, I don't need to have that sensory aspect of me turned on. And we talk about I use techniques like let it drop away, it's gone out of your awareness now, it's taking care of itself, right? These kinds of statements are really useful when it comes to using, like I said uh before, like attention and awareness. Attention, I think it's important to see. Uh I had a meditation teacher say this to me, and I've just loved it ever since. You know, and I use it when I do my pre-talks with my with my clients. You know, I'm I'm picking up a pen, I'm holding it in my hand, and that's attention. Attention is like holding something in your hand. You now have the ability to to manipulate it, to examine it, to understand it. But if I'm looking down at my glasses now and I say I want to put my attention to my glasses, I have to put the pen down and then pick up the glasses. So my attention is like my hand. It's an amazingly useful tool and it can do all kinds of things, but it can only really hold one thing at a time. And so, in my attention, right, I try and I'll battle with myself to pay attention. You know, if I'm sitting in a hypnosis chair and the hypnotist is talking to me about relaxing, I'm trying to turn my attention away from the things that I'm thinking towards the sound of the hypnotist's voice. And that's what I always do. I say it out loud, and now your attention is completely focused on the sound of my voice following along and enjoying a deep hypnotic trance. It's just about shifting attention. So the first step often is not to go from the pen to the glasses, from the thing to the thing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:The first step is to let go of the pen and be aware of all the things you can hold in your mind. And now let's focus on the glasses. So there's a step, I think, in relaxation where you move towards just broad awareness. Broad awareness, the sounds in the room, the feeling of the chair underneath you, the sound of the furnace hissing, these kinds of things, you move them towards broad awareness and then bring them into attention, right? The the body and the mind is really trying to take care of you all the time. And when somebody's external instructions are to move your attention from this to this, it is the natural tendency of the mind to say, why? Right? Why are you doing that? What are you doing that for? I don't want to do that. I'm not going to do what you tell me to do. These are just sort of natural reactions because the mind is trying to take care of you. It's trying to protect you. It has now chosen something to be focused on that's causing this anxiety, that's causing this tension inside you. It's picked something and it's not going to just walk away from that until it's resolved, until it's has a sense of safety. Right. And I think one of the biggest mistakes hypnotists make is they just don't pay attention to the state of relaxation of the client. And they start to move into hypnosis with a client before the client is really prepared to start receiving it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So I think attention and awareness are interesting concepts that can be used in the process of moving from tension to relaxation.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. I think about what you just said about how we can sometimes, as hypnotists, move yeah, move people into working on their mind before they're relaxed. And for any budding hypnotists or hypnotists that are listening to this, if it's in our, you know, we teach hypnotists, so chances are they might listen to this. I think it is really important to become very aware of, you know, seeing what your client is going through. Sometimes you'll notice that they'll get all set up and then they'll, you know, we'll say, take a deep breath, but you almost want to watch for another deep breath, right? Going down the stairs, do-do-do, you know, and then suddenly without prompt, they're taking another deep breath. Things like that. A lot of clients with me, when we get to the beautiful place, they smile, they start to smile. I think personally, I think that's um that means they're really in it, right? Yeah. And and and you're not gonna be saying, Are you relaxed yet? Are you relaxed enough?
SPEAKER_03:Are you let's check now?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. You just have to become more aware of how that relaxation looks. And it's gonna be different for everybody, right? Sometimes, sometimes I have clients that don't seem relaxed, but when they come out of hypnosis, they're like, wow, that was amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think sometimes people have an amazing experience even when they don't go deep, even when they don't go completely relaxed. There is a technique in hypnosis of just doing a hand drop. What that is, is first, of course, you get permission from the client that you might touch them and touch them on the hand or the wrist. And they, you know, 99% of clients that they don't care, that's fine. But I think it's important to pause and get that permission. And then all you do is simply lift up the wrist and tell them to just allow it to be held by you, allow all the weight to be in my hands, and you just pick up the arm at the wrist and you give it a little shake. And you can tell a lot about their state of relaxation from that. You'll have everything from the client lifting their arm themselves and throwing their arm down when you drop it, and you'll be able to measure tension when you just give it a gentle shake from side to side. You know, a relaxed muscle is gonna just jiggle and sit there, and the tense muscle is not gonna move. You're gonna feel the resistance. So there are ways of testing clients' relaxation. I think that what's really important is to realize that the command, relax, is an absolutely useless one. It can quite frequently trigger tension. Like, why the hell do you want me to relax? What's gonna happen, right? So the the command of relaxation is not helpful. And then, of course, you know, like you've already talked about it, and I think the breath is just so important. I start every every session with breath. It's a great way to shift attention, it's a great way to regulate, deregulate the sympathetic nervous system to get it to just shut down, get into that parasympathetic state. It's the parasympathetic state that allows the mind to relax because the mind's on alert. It's the control center until the body's relaxed, the mind's not going to relax. And so it's really interesting to see how those kinds of tools work. I use breath all the time. There's all kinds of breath techniques. Maybe we could talk about some of those tomorrow. But it's that that shifting of awareness. So although I'll use it in hypnosis, say, okay, it's time for a nice deep cleansing breath. I don't think you can say that to your friend, right? You're you're at the mall, something's happening that's got your friend stressed, and uh it's you can say it, yeah, just take a deep breath, but it'll probably just piss them off. Right? So here's a sneaky way to help people relax when you see people in that state. It's really sneaky. It's did you hear that? And that forces them to open up their awareness. Where did that come from? What's that sound? And it forces them to open up, right? And then you can just mimic because people are naturally mimics. You just you say, just wait a second, just wait a second, I want to hear this. And you take a deep breath, you listen, and they're just gonna mimic that. They're just gonna automatically mimic that, and you go, Can't you hear that? No, I don't hear anything. Oh, I'm sorry. There was something there, I was sure there was something there, and just in that process, they're going to be guided out of their deep state of focus into a broader sense of awareness, a seeking outside themselves. They're going to naturally move towards relaxation. And now, when you've done that, just redirect their attention, right? Let's go over there and look at those, right? Yeah, let's let's go get some chocolate. Want some chocolate, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that always helps. That always helps.
SPEAKER_03:So it's it's knowing that the the parasympathetic nervous system is going to be activated when your body starts to do parasympathetic things.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So moving attention away from what they're focused on, expanding awareness, using physical techniques like breathing, these are all ways to move into relaxation. And when it comes to things like visualization or compartmentalization in that in the person. mind and hypnosis. One of the things that I, one of the tools I use all the time, I use it with myself every day, all the time. I imagine a table. I imagine a table in front of me and I take this thing that's got my full attention and got me really lit up and fired up and stressed out and I place it on the table. And I say, I'm not losing it. I'm not giving up on it. I'm just putting it down for a while. It's not helping me to stay focused on it. Most people are very aware that their tension and their stress is not helping them. You don't have to tell them that. But if you give them that opportunity to say I'm just going to put this down for a while, right? Just like you know you use a technique of them pulling it outside themselves. What do you explain that?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah so if someone is tense will see where it is in the body let's say it's in the in the stomach they'll imagine or feel like they are grasping onto this tense we just use the word energy in the stomach and they're grasping onto it and hauling it out of themselves, pulling it out of themselves, throwing it out there in front of them or placing it out there in front of them. And and what that does is it separates it's it's now outside of yourself, right? When it's when we imagine or feel like it's inside of us it it's like we can't run away from it in in a way right and so taking it and sort of once removing it from the the body it's out there then to make it even more out there and not in in the body I'll say what does that look like right what it what what do you sense that is out there and it then it it it feels like it's even more removed because how can a how can a shovel be in my body right how can a set of bricks be in my body how can a blob of goo or slime or whatever it is I mean it's endless what these things look like. But so so then it it it removes it even more. And and then we'll find out you know depending if it's a limiting belief or just not just an emotion but an emotion or pattern or whatever it is then we go through a process of either giving it back to somebody or doing parts work with it or whatever is meant to happen.
SPEAKER_03:But it wash away in the ring.
SPEAKER_00:And some people just that they they get ahead of me in the process I'm like okay well where did this come from oh well it's already gone I already like threw it away okay okay we'll just do that. And the important thing here is to I trust my client's subconscious mind more than the things that I can make up to to do for them or with them right the the things I can take them through. If their subconscious mind is saying oh it's it's like it's stuck in my rib cage like it's gooey and it's not coming out and or if it's out there and it's sad or if there you know it trust trust you know if if if something comes out of the body and it's sad right away to me that's that's parts work right but we're not going to get rid of it. We're going to work on it. So all we you know and again I'm sort of speaking to any hypnotist will listening to this in the future but just because we have a maybe a a technique don't cookie cutter the whole session you know you need to be able to sort of turn on a dime if something happens.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah I think that creativity is one of the single most important abilities that a hypnotist has to be creative in the moment to use metaphor in the moment to be a bit of a poet at times using concepts and words. So what would you say to people who just acknowledge to themselves I'm stressed I need to relax I'm stressed I need to relax like they've come in to see me they say I'm aggressive. Let's say it's you know any old person is or any any old people listening any old people just people just people being people they're out there living their lives in the world and they know by their reaction and the tension in their body and the the unhappiness they have with the situation that they want to relax you're aware that you need to relax we know that saying to yourself just relax is not gonna be helpful.
SPEAKER_00:Just stop it just stop it just stop it oh my gosh that's what is that money python for anyone listening no it's um bob newhart bob new heart bob new heart i would well i mean just as we have spoken about I would have them focus on maybe something around them taking a deep breath and I suppose my my mind instantly goes to techniques I I have that issue with your natural hypnotism we've spoken about this before so I'm trying to pull back from that and just give you sort of the basics but yeah I would I would ask them to notice their breath and I also do the the idea of listening to things around hearing things I like the one where it's I want you to hear the most distant sound and then they're listening and then and then hear something halfway from that let's say right and then hear the closest sounds right so they're now they're moving between sounds that's really opening the awareness of that yeah having a hard time with that one because again my mind just goes to techniques but if someone just randomly came up to me.
SPEAKER_03:So so here's the reframe I suggest I've heard this said and I can't source it. I can tell you that I've heard it a lot in my years and I've used it with clients who are resistant to it a little bit but as as I said we resist somebody else telling us to relax. We don't necessarily resist ourselves. For most of us we use the past to inform the future what we cling to in our past are the mistakes and the negatives the mistakes we've made and the negative things we've experienced. And that creates a sense of fear about the future because we're always attending into the future you know what am I trying to do? What am I trying to accomplish? What do I need? How is the future going to get better or worse? What's in the future that I need to be afraid of because of my experiences of the past and so we we live this kind of crazy pendulum that swings dramatically from memories of the past to fears of the future and back again back and forth back and forth. And most of the time when we're stressed or when we're frustrated right what we're saying to ourselves is think, oh here this comes again here's this mess again and how can I keep from having this mess in my future right so when you can recognize that activity in your mind you're already way ahead you're already able to say I'm starting to understand why I'm not relaxing why I can't relax. And so I think as a reframe you ask yourself I have this problem I have this fear but am I experiencing it here now? Am I experiencing it here now? It's amazing how many problems we could make a list. We have a whole list of problems but in this moment right now is that problem going on so that's that's a first I think a very useful reframe here and now nothing's going on I'm sitting here looking out the window the only thing going on are thoughts thoughts in the form of remembering bad experiences thoughts in the form of projecting future fears you grab yourself out of that thought process and you realize that right here right now right here right now it's not going on and then you grab that right here right now well where am I and now you'll naturally take a deep breath and you'll start to become aware of the room that you're in the space that you're in the area that you're in and you'll start to open up your senses your vision and your hearing and your sense of smell and you can say oh you know like I I imagine you know I've I've seen it I've seen it I've gone to the mall and I've watched people have meltdowns in the mall and it's it's funny because they're in the mall I mean it's just a fun place right there's Cinnabon you can smell it right there's music you can hear it there is there's people and smiles there's little kids playing there's a lot of reasons to be happy to be in the mall a lot of people walk in the mall to go I hate this I hate people I hate this environment I hate the stress right but in that moment if you grab back the present moment and you expand your awareness and you allow yourself to take deep breaths enjoyable breaths because I really do believe that a deep breath can be an enjoyable experience it can really be something that feels physically good. It's hard to take a deep breath and not have your mind immediately sort of clarify. It's hard to take a deep breath and not feel your shoulders relax. For some people it takes a few breaths before they can actually take a deep breath because they got to work some of that stress and muscle tension out. But if you took the reframe that was I am here now and then expand your awareness to everything around you right and use your sense all of your senses to broaden your awareness and put your attention on your breath you're going to find that you quickly quickly as in 30 40 60 seconds you will quickly shift the way you're feeling now you can go right back I mean all you got to do is go right back to that thought and lock on it because it's a thought that's making you tense and if you want to you can go back to it but that might be the moment to say to yourself I'm staying here now I am safe here and now and that statement to yourself that I am safe is huge. It's going to have an enormous impact on your body and in doing so that will have an impact on your brain these are interactive things right your brain your body your mind they impact each other and you can use any any dimension of those to help the others so yeah there's a sneaky way to get your friend to relax there's a there's a good way for you to get yourself to a state of at least some relaxation and then of course there's distraction right and that unfortunately is what a lot of people use. Yeah people will distract themselves and unfortunately the things we use to distract ourselves can become addictions.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah yeah that's a whole podcast yeah yeah maybe we'll talk about distractions tomorrow yeah and I want to put it out there I want to talk about not right now because we're out of time but this one comes up a lot what if relaxation means I'm lazy it's amazing what we do to ourselves. Mm-hmm fun stuff all right so thanks for hanging out today we're gonna go relax at the gym and distractions and breath work yep exactly exactly okay so we will see you later
