Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre
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Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre
Redefining Anger: Insights and Practical Strategies
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Ever wondered why anger seems to have so much control over our lives? Discover the profound insights behind anger and how to manage it effectively in our episode, as we explore anger and consider its emotional meaning." Join us on a serene July morning by the lake as we engage in an enlightening discussion about how emotions serve as primary information centers. Through personal anecdotes and reflective conversations, we illustrate how simple reframing techniques can transform our emotional responses, emphasizing the power of shifting perspectives to quickly alleviate negative feelings.
Understanding anger requires more than just addressing its outward expressions. In "Understanding and Managing Anger," we delve into the necessity of self-awareness in recognizing and vocalizing our feelings and needs. By reframing our perceptions to understand that others' aggressive behaviors often stem from their own issues, we can defuse our own anger. Learn how this realization has personally helped reshape responses to unfair treatment and emotional triggers, especially focusing on the habits that increase anger, particularly in men.
In "Transforming Learned Anger Responses," we explore how our sense of identity can fuel anger, using examples such as parents at children's sporting events. We delve into how childhood experiences and the subconscious mind shape these reactions and discuss the potential for hypnosis to reframe deeply ingrained patterns. Finally, "Exploring Hypnosis for Personal Growth" emphasizes the role of hypnosis in achieving a more peaceful state of mind. We invite you to visit www.psalmhypnosis.com for more information and to take advantage of a free one-hour consultation with Hillary to explore how hypnosis can help you achieve your life goals. Join us and uncover the path to a more serene and fulfilling life.
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Welcome. Thank you for joining us for Coffee with Hilary and Les. Brought to you by the State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Center located in the heart of the Kawartha Lakes. This is our almost daily community podcast about the mind and how we all might change it in the most simple and helpful ways. Every day, we sit staring at the lake and sipping our coffee, chatting about hypnosis and how to make those meaningful adjustments to our state of mind, because nothing's more important than your state of mind. Because nothing's more important than your state of mind Beautiful morning.
Speaker 2:It's a little cool though.
Speaker 1:I'll take it.
Speaker 2:It's July. I would want you know what we haven't had. We haven't had those hot days where you wake up and it's hot the instant you wake up and it feels hot all day. I guess I shouldn't be missing that yeah, seriously, I'm just used to having that in the summer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it chose to rain on those days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everything is lush. We are in the height of greenery. What are those flowers called Pink ones down there? I thought you called them funeral flowers. Well, they look like a lily. What kind of lily are they?
Speaker 1:No idea.
Speaker 2:You planted them. I don't know what I plant.
Speaker 1:I just say, oh, that's pretty, and stick it in the ground.
Speaker 2:Well, they are pink and they're in full bloom. Life is good. They're the funeral flowers, lilies.
Speaker 1:They do smell that way. So today I thought we could talk about how you work with men on. You know their, their anger stuff anger, anger, intense anger, constant anger.
Speaker 2:anger's a son of a gun, isn't it? It runs away on us, it grabs us and carries us off. It hooks us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just a little side note before we start into that. It's interesting because what I've noticed with people, clients, is that I'll say, especially with women, I'll say you know, do you feel like you're angry sometimes, or a lot? Or you know what's your anger scale, sometimes, or a lot, or you know what's your anger scale? And they'll give me, you know, an example of something and then they'll say well, I wasn't angry, I was just frustrated, Right. And what I've noticed is that happens a lot and it's as if it's almost as if they don't want to associate what they're feeling with anger.
Speaker 1:But to me, when I work with frustration, I mean I don't know about you, but like that's anger there's a lot of similarities there right yeah, um, and I think frustration can become anger quickly like there's a yeah, it seems to be on the lower end of the scale, but yeah, and I'll work with men and women and you know, to me it's amazing the power of the reframe when it comes to anger.
Speaker 2:There's just some really simple things that you can do in your own mind to reframe. Things that you can do in your own mind to reframe, yeah, just reframe the way you're looking at the world and anger can dissipate quickly and, and sometimes you know, just some simple thoughts. When you experience that emotion, just some simple, simple thoughts can can cause it to just stop, right, it can cause it to just turn into quiet emptiness, really, really fast. So, just on your thought about frustration, right, frustration. Or let's back up even further and just say emotions are incredibly valuable, useful things.
Speaker 2:Emotions are like these primary information centers for us when we look at the world around us, when we look at events, we put meaning on them and to start with the idea that nothing has any meaning except the meaning we put on it, I was at the ball game yesterday and you know that's my favorite example and the Blue Jays are nothing, yahoo. And then in a matter of two minutes they have detroit has three men on base and gosman gives up a grand slam, bang. We're winning three. Nothing. Now we're losing four to three, right, and it's the emotional roller coaster that happens really, really quickly, except that you know it's kids day at the park, right? It's Sunday, family day at the park, and you've got all these little kids and they're at the game and all they care about is the ice cream. All they care about is the new balloon they got, or the, or the, or the stuffed animal that they got. They couldn't care less. To them, this is the greatest game ever, because they're sitting in the stands getting a slushy and life was perfect. So I just think, first of all, to just sort of say nothing has any meaning, except the meaning that we put on it which opens the door.
Speaker 2:I think it's not that things shouldn't have meaning or that you shouldn't put meaning on things. It's just to be aware that you're doing it. You're creating the meaning. The meaning is not there innately, it's not part of the thing. It's part of the way you look at the thing, it's part of the way you interpret the thing. It's part of the way you look at the thing. It's part of the way you interpret the thing.
Speaker 2:So to start there and say what goes on around me has meaning and that stimulates my emotions. Emotions are a reaction to the meaning we put on things. If, if I look at something and I think of it as threatening, I interpret that as a personal threat to me, then the fear is going to come. And when the fear comes, it can be overwhelming. Right.
Speaker 2:And the thing about these emotions too the next level is that they kick in body reactions, right. As soon as your mind says this is fear, or this is anger, or this is frustration, your body responds to that. It's an amazing thing, but that can hijack your mind. As I say, you know that the feelings in your body can overwhelm your ability to calmly say to yourself hmm, they just hit a grand slam. My team went from winning to losing. It's just a bunch of guys playing a game. It's really not that important At the end of the day. You know they want to win, but you know the world hasn't turned into a bad place or anything Right. And so I can do it that way, I can think it through, but when my body's all activated, it's really hard to just be able to think. And so you know, understanding that that's our process, that those are the steps right.
Speaker 2:Then the question becomes how do I interfere with that program response? Because I've been doing that now, for you know, most of my life cheering for the blue jays, watching them lose more than they win. Um, although they've won, they've pretty much lost more than they've won in the grand total scheme of things, and to know that that has nothing to do with me it has much more to do with where I live and what team I choose to cheer for than it has to do with me as a person, or my value or my value of my team or anything else Anyway. So when you break down that stuff, then you can ask yourself well, what do emotions mean? What do emotions mean? Right, what do emotions mean? If they're really useful, then what they're doing is helping us understand what we prefer and what we don't prefer, what we like and what we don't like. They're telling us how we're interpreting a situation and they're often telling us how we need to respond to a situation, and that's good. Sometimes it's good to be afraid, sometimes it's good to see something as threatening and then move away from it, and sometimes it's valuable to see yourself as being treated unfairly, and you should react to that and stop that from continuing. Sometimes you get frustrated and you say I've got to try something different.
Speaker 2:But it's about the meaning of the emotion and we put that meaning on it in the way we interpret it. And when it comes to anger, it's important to see what it means. And so the first step when I'm working with somebody is I talk about all that stuff, right? So the first step is to just talk about this stuff, just without having an angry situation in front of us. We just talk about, you know, what is anger and what does it mean? What's it there to do for us? What's that emotion trying to help us with? And when we?
Speaker 2:You know, I rely a lot on some of the stuff I've learned from Cal Banyan, a hypnotist in Texas, one of our teachers. We use some of his systems. You know he's got this wonderful book we've talked about a bunch of times, the Secret Language of Feelings, and he takes all the emotions that we typically experience and he explains what they mean. And it's not like you know that this is magically new. We've known this stuff since we've started having emotions. But it's good to put it out in front of us and look at it, right.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, when we're connected to something, it's hard to examine it. And then, when we just take it and turn it into an idea, and take that idea and put it in front of us and we're not attached to it, it can make all the sense in the world. So emotions have meaning, you know, if I'm feeling sad, it means I've lost something. If I'm feeling afraid, it means I'm threatened. If I'm feeling guilty, it means I've treated somebody unfairly. If I'm feeling frustrated, it means this is not working.
Speaker 2:And this, I think, is a big difference between frustrated and angry. When I'm angry, it means I'm being treated unfairly. And this is where I think some people won't call frustration anger, because they're frustrated, things aren't going the way they want, but there's no force outside of them that is stopping them from accomplishing what they want. They recognize when we're frustrated, we recognize that it's internal, it's me that's not able to do what it is I want to do. When it's somebody else, we start to move towards anger. And so these are really, I think, valuable differences when it comes to how we should respond and, more importantly, the kinds of things we should think about when we're experiencing these emotions. So, like I said, you know, the first thing, of course, is to just explain this stuff For so many of us to say the emotion we're feeling is the result of the way we're interpreting the thing that's going on around us.
Speaker 2:Wow, I've never thought of it that way. We've never taken the pause to say that there's a natural, normal connection here and that that connection and that process is completely and totally within my mind. It's about what I am interpreting, it's about how I am interpreting, it's about what I'm interpreting it to be, and that itself can just take a heightened, intense situation and just calm it right down, because we've just put it out there and looked at it, and so for a lot of people that I work with, just that explanation alone makes a difference. It also gives us the idea of what we should be looking for, right? If anger means I'm being treated unfairly, then what I should be looking for is where am I being treated unfairly? Who's treating me unfairly? How is this unfair?
Speaker 2:Right now, my examination of the circumstance is not sort of jumped over straight to the emotion that's causing me to react badly. Now the situation is I can see and understand my emotion, and then I can move into that wonderful state where we start to observe our emotions rather than be carried away by them, rather than be overwhelmed by them, and we start to be the one who's feeling the emotion, not the emotion itself. It's such a big difference in your state of mind when you say I'm feeling angry versus I am angry. It's just an enormous, it's a very significant step we take from I'm experiencing something that's frustrating me and I'm being treated unfairly to I'm angry because if I'm angry I'm going to react.
Speaker 2:I'm going to react harshly. And I think for men it's problematic because the people around us, when they see us angry, it causes in them fear, and that's not usually what we're looking for. And we go to anger very, very quickly because the world is an unfair place. It's filled with unfairness. Unfairness is everywhere, all the time, and you know, I think that both men and women in our world are being treated unfairly because they're not being supported in being complete persons. Right, men are socialized to be certain characteristics that they gotta be and they don't get to be emotional, they don't get to be sensitive, they don't get to be gentle, they're expected to be certain emotional states. In fact, we almost expect men to get angry about everything.
Speaker 2:And with women it's the same story different emotions, different opportunities. You know, there's this socialization that says you're supposed to be like this, you're supposed to be the sensitive one, You're supposed to be the supportive one, you're supposed to be the emotional one, you're supposed to be the supportive one, you're supposed to be the emotional one. And these simple, simple programs that are everywhere all the time, from the instant we're born, get in the way of all human beings being able to experience the whole range of emotions and experience them in a way that is helpful, because emotions bring messages, because emotions bring insights. Don't get to experience the full range of emotions, and that causes us to react to the world, to react to the world in habitual ways, and that hurts our relationships with others. It even stops relationships from happening sometimes and it stops, I think, relationships we can have with and about ourselves. So, anyway, there's value in seeing an emotion for what it is, and anger is the sign that I'm being treated unfairly. So as soon as a person can say, all right, here's, I'm experiencing anger, I'm being treated unfairly, and to just say that to yourself, I'm being treated unfairly, that opens the door to examining it. I'm being treated unfairly. Well, how are you being treated unfairly and who's treating you unfairly and how is this unfair? And then you can actually start to communicate on that. Anger doesn't have to be yelling and screaming. Anger can quickly dissipate when you ask the question. You know why are you doing this to me, why are you talking to me like that? You know I don't deserve to be treated like that. I deserve to have opportunities. I deserve something better than this. You know something better than this. You know just being able to state that out loud, sometimes to the person that you're in confrontation with, makes an enormous shift, because it's really about people coming together with their emotions running away on them, versus people coming together with an awareness of their emotions running away on them, versus people coming together with an awareness of their emotions and trying to resolve the actual event that has triggered the emotions in them. So the biggest reframe that has been so effective. It's effective with me. It was hugely effective with me, in fact. You know I'll just even go so far as to say that, although I was aware of this reframe, it was actually a session that you gave me that really brought it home and really helped me formulate you. You know the simple statement it's not about me. It's a huge reframe.
Speaker 2:When it comes to anger, you know people will treat you unfairly, but it's not actually targeted at you. People will be unfair but it really has nothing to do with you. People will be mean, people will be nasty, people will be reactive, people will say harsh things. People will do aggressive things. People will do passive aggressive things.
Speaker 2:But it's not about me, it's about them. It's what they're going through that's causing them to react that way. It's about them and their life and their situation and the way they're interpreting things around them that's causing them to act that way. Sometimes it's not even how they're interpreting me right. Sometimes it's how they're interpreting me, in the way I'm acting, and that causes them to react to me. But it's really about their situation. In fact, if somebody says to me Les, you're a dink right, they're really not making me suddenly a dink. I'm not suddenly a dink just because they say so, and it's really what they're saying is I think you are a dink right now, in this moment, because of my emotional state. I'm saying this to you, but it's much more reflective of what's going on for them than it is about you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe sometimes I do act like a dink, but that doesn't mean that I'm a dink and it doesn't mean that what they're saying is true and that's for me to examine, it's not for me to take on. It's for me to say this is not about me, this is about them, this is about what's going on for them, and even when they're attacking me, even when they're using words about me, it's really just reflective of their state of mind, and just it's not about me is an enormous way to now say well, I'm not being treated unfairly. They are suffering, they are going through some difficult times, they are emotionally activated, but it's not about me, and so I think what happens then is you can break mental, emotional habits. Right. There are habits that escalate, right, and it's funny because I think that what happens you know, when you get people who have real anger issues, what they're really, what causes their anger to escalate, is that they don't see their anger fixing the situation right. Somebody made a comment to them that got them really upset.
Speaker 2:I saw a video the other day of somebody's house where a mother took a teenage son's phone away from him and she took a video of the house and he had literally trashed the house, smashed everything. Trashed the house, smashed everything. Wow. And so why would that go on? Why would that be like that? Because we get used to the idea that if I express a little bit of anger, it changes the circumstance. Men are especially that way. If they stand up, spread the shoulders and do the you won't do that to me again.
Speaker 2:Generally, people back off. Certainly most of half the population backs off when it comes to women. And so then, when they don't back off, when they dig in their heels, when this anger response didn't accomplish what they hope to accomplish, it continues and it gets bigger and it gets broader, and it's it's this unspoken idea that the more angry I get, the more likely it is. I'm going to stop this unfair treatment. I'm going to stop this thing from happening to me, and it also becomes just an incredible habit to just get angry about everything, because that generally makes everybody back off. That generally gets you what you want. That generally, if nothing else, gets you peace and quiet and gets people moving away from you, and so anger will escalate.
Speaker 2:Anger will become a habit when we don't have the ability to examine our emotions, when we don't take the time to examine our emotions because we just don't know that they can be examined and we just go straight to the emotion and we let it grab us and hook us. Then we're going to generally act in ways that later we're going to regret and, more importantly, later we're going to regret and we won't understand because we were never taught this. And so there it is. That's the approach that I take, with anger, with my clients. It starts with just simple awareness of just trying to be less reactive and more aware of what's going on inside us and then recognizing the truth, because it is the truth, it's an absolute truth and when you accept it as truth it changes the way you interpret everything.
Speaker 2:You know the vast majority of people don't even know I exist and they don't really care that I do exist and they're never really out there doing anything in their lives that isn't self-oriented. Most people are just out there doing what they think is best for them at any minute of any day, which means it's never really about me and I don't have to take it personally. And if I'm not taking it personally, then nobody's treating me unfairly and if I'm not being treated unfairly, I'm not going to go to anger. I might go to frustration. I might say, oh, this is ridiculous, I don't want to be in this situation. But yesterday when that guy hit that home run Grand Slam, it was not about me, right? I'm sure there were some fans in the stands that were upset, but it was not about me.
Speaker 2:It's just a ball game. That's the kind of thing that goes on. So there you go. I talked a lot, but you asked and I answered.
Speaker 1:I think it's interesting your example of a baseball game, to think I can go down the road in my mind and think I figured it out. But you know, why would someone feel like they're being treated unfairly in a baseball game, right? What? What would bring those feelings up? I think I think, if I, if I unpack it, that it's, um, you know, my ego is this game, my ego is this team. You know, in a sense it's almost like I ownership, right and um, if they're losing, then that means something about my ego, that means something about me.
Speaker 2:That's you know. Like we're down at the domeome and you might have seen some, you know, detroit fans chirping some Toronto fans and Toronto fans chirping Detroit fans, and that's you know. They might take that personally. But let's take the same example and turn it into a Little League game with parents in the stands. Yeah, like that's where violence happens at sporting events. That's you know whether it's especially you know hockey and baseball and soccer. Like look at the soccer fans and the way they respond to the things that go on that they think is unfairly. You know it's, it's an ear.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be harsh, but it's, it's an irrational extra step. It's one thing to say I was born in Toronto, I love Toronto, I love Toronto sports teams. I'm going to cheer for Toronto sports teams because I feel an affinity for the city of Toronto. But the truth is, sports doesn't really matter and whether the teams win or lose there's a whole lot of fun. Because at the end of the day I really do like watching the sport of baseball. Like sometimes I'll even watch teams. I don't care about play the game just because there's some good players or they're having a good year or they're enjoyable to watch, but the instant I take that next step. And it's interesting.
Speaker 2:Our buddy Al was telling me he was listening to an interview with Trevor Mitchell and they asked him he's South African, he grew up in the age of apartheid, he had to watch some really ugly politics as a child and as an adult and of course he saw sort of the extremes of racism. And he was asked you know, what do you see? Are the differences in the politics between the US and South Africa? And he pointed out and I'm doing a bad paraphrase, but what he said was you know, people in South Africa don't walk around and say I am a Republican or I am a Democrat. They walk around saying I voted Republican, I voted Democrat.
Speaker 2:It's when we take these things on as identity and they're not and they can't be that's when we start to own this perspective, because the identity creates a perspective. And when we own it, then anything that challenges it is a challenge to ourselves and we interpret that as unfair. And that's where the anger comes from, because we're now interpreting it personally. I'm a Blue Jay fan and anything that doesn't support the Blue Jays is a personal violation. That's when we take that step and that's why you see parents in the stands of their kids' sporting events, losing their mind right of their kids' sporting events, losing their mind right. They're losing their mind because their child is now up to bat and the umpire made a bad call. And that's treating my child, who is actually me now, of course, because my child is just an extension of me. You're treating my child unfairly and I want to react to that. And they've lost their perspective, which is it was never about them. This is just a bunch of kids playing a game and some other parent who, from their own generosity and caring, said I'll umpire the game for the kids, I'll take my Saturday afternoon and I will spend it with a whole bunch of kids I don't know and try to run the game on their behalf as best I can within my skill set, because I certainly know more than just about anybody else in the park. So because I know that I'm willing to umpire and I'm willing to make the call for balls and strikes.
Speaker 2:So it's this interpretation of what's going on as a direct violation of my identity that causes parents to start screaming at officials and referees and umpires, and then screaming at the other parents and then screaming at the coach, and then everybody is just filled with anger because everybody appears to be treating everybody else unfairly and the stakes seem so important and they're not. And of course, this is all really, really normal and we shouldn't be judging. We shouldn't be judging ourselves, we shouldn't be judging, we shouldn't be judging ourselves, we shouldn't be judging others. We should just look around and see it as really really normal. But we don't want to be normal. I mean, I don't want to be normal. Normal doesn't look all that great to me. So we don't want to be normal, but we shouldn't judge ourselves because we are. So this is all really normal. And so what happens is we start off talking about it and we start to have some insight.
Speaker 2:Now I'm hoping that just sharing these ideas, you know you're starting to have some insight into your own anger, your own view of what your anger is and where it comes from, and maybe you can even understand it better, why it would come up and what it means. What we do in hypnosis is we realize that all of this tendency to habitually turn to anger, to habitually see the world as treating us unfairly which there's nothing fair about the world I'm not saying you're inaccurate, I'm just saying it isn't personal. I'm not saying the world isn't a screwed up unfair place. I'm saying it isn't personal, it's unfair to everybody. It's not about you, right? And if that kind of idea helps, there's a really good start, because now we're in the process of removing that.
Speaker 2:But that's a program. That's a program we've received since we were very young. That's a program that we reinforce when we tell people that you need to be more assertive and you need to stand up for yourself. And the way a lot of people interpret standing up for themselves is just getting angry, and getting angry, generally speaking, just turns into attack, exchanging attacks, and that's never going to result in anything good, because once somebody attacks you, you're going to attack them, and once you attack them, they're going to attack you and you're never going to forget that they attacked you. So you're going to attack them every chance you get and they're not going to forget that you attacked them. So they're going to attack you every chance they get and that attack is going to go on. Wars never end, right? They never end. They come to lulls, they come to lulls, they come to quiet places, but they never end. And so to to see that that idea that this is not about me, this is just about this crazy place.
Speaker 2:Then in hypnosis we have to deal with that program because that program is deep down and so once the rational mind starts to say, the conscious mind says, oh yeah, that's true. And the subconscious mind says, oh wow, I never thought of it that way. And subconscious mind says, well, maybe I can react differently. But then the subconscious mind says, well, what about this time and what about that thing and what about these circumstances? And the subconscious mind is really just trying to take care of you, it's just trying to keep you safe in a world that is unfair, and the subconscious mind is interpreting everything as an attack, a personal affront to you, right? So we got to then take the time to go back and look at where that program came from, and, for better or worse, it came from our childhood. Almost always, almost always, we learned childhood. Almost always, almost always, we learned from our parents, who love us so much.
Speaker 2:At some point or another, as we become more capable and more mobile learning to walk, learning to talk, learning to do things at some point or another our parents want to change our behavior because we're walking and talking in places we shouldn't and doing things that we shouldn't, and our parents respond in anger and it scares the bejesus out of us. Right? And we see the effectiveness of anger as a way to control other people's behavior, as a way of getting other people to behave differently when we don't like how they're behaving. Uh, you know one of my favorite I I? This memory's burned into my mind. Um, I was in a grocery store. As I've spent so much of my life in a grocery stores, I've pretty much always been the shopping guy.
Speaker 2:And I'm in a grocery store and I see this little girl and maybe she's four, probably three I think she's four because she's really articulate and they're standing in in the, in the cereal aisle, which I think is the world of the most power dynamics little kids and their parents trying to figure out what breakfast cereal they're going to have, and and they're standing in that breakfast cereal aisle and the little girl does what she should do, I think, as a little girl she walks over to the chocolatiest thing she can find and she grabs it and she puts it in the shopping basket and mom says no, and she takes it out and she puts it back on the shelf and the little girl put her hands on her hips and she stomped her foot and she said you put that back in the basket now. And it hit me right then and there Anger is a learned response. That little girl certainly saw herself as capable of choosing her own breakfast cereal and she saw what her mother was doing as unfair, arbitrary, mean, and she used the mother's anger response that she had learned as a little one hands on the hip, stomped the foot, harsh words you do this right now. And that little girl was learning anger. She was learning how to control other people's behavior. Learning how to control other people's behavior. She was learning how to use anger to get what she wants. And so it's important to see that this is the kind of stuff we learn very, very young in life.
Speaker 2:And when I think about the sessions that I've had for me that take me to deal with anger, right, I'm very, very young when anger responses and anger training I'll call it takes place and that's just normal, that's just what we all are. So when the conscious mind says, okay, I can see the truth here, then the subconscious mind says, well, maybe I can change. And then the subconscious mind goes back and recognizes, makes conscious what has been up to that point, unconscious, that this was a learned response and that it doesn't have to happen and that other people's behavior is just not about me and I don't have to interpret it that way at all. It's like watching people's anger. You know it did for me. It's like watching people's anger you know it did for me. I think it does for most people. Your anger response just dissipates. And when your anger response dissipates right now, your interpretation shifts completely right, because you're now reprogrammed.
Speaker 2:These kinds of circumstances mean that that person is going through an awful experience, that person is suffering, that person is very upset, so upset that they want to attack me for nothing, like I didn't do anything and I don't deserve this. But they're attacking me. But if I don't have to respond with attack, then I can do incredible things right. You know and I use the example I'm at the grocery store and the woman checking the groceries is in an angry state. You can tell just by looking at her and that's completely normal. Let's not judge her, that's just completely.
Speaker 2:She's in an angry state and she doesn't say hello to me and she starts checking my groceries and you know she's manhandling my bananas and bouncing my avocados and she's hurting my groceries and I'm getting upset because she's hurting my groceries and I don't see it as it's about me. It wouldn't matter who was standing here checking out their groceries. Whoever's there is going to get treated that way. It's not about me. But now I can see it in compassionate and I can say something as simple as boy. It's been busy in here today, I guess, and then away she'll go. Yes, and it's been crazy, and I haven't had a break, and my boss is being difficult and you can see, yeah, she might be being treated unfairly and it has nothing to do with me. And now, in fact, what I'm doing, by showing compassion, I'm helping her. I'm actually helping the next customer who won't face the same kind of wrath that has built up inside this wonderful human being who is just having a bad day. This is what happens when you ask me a question, but you know that.
Speaker 1:I know I'm just listening to the dog across the way. It's a little Getting angry.
Speaker 2:Doesn't that dog know we're trying?
Speaker 1:to do a podcast.
Speaker 2:What's wrong with that dog? Somebody go get that dog. No, we're trying to do a podcast. What's wrong with that dog? Somebody go get that dog all right.
Speaker 1:Well, that's been a good talk.
Speaker 2:No, I I talked a lot and I'm sorry that you didn't talk much, but okay you asked me a question yeah, I, I wanted to.
Speaker 1:I think your anger program is wonderful and I'm always learning from it and I wanted to learn more.
Speaker 2:Hope it helps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, see you later. We hope you enjoyed today's podcast and that maybe it helped even a little and that maybe it helped even a little. If you have any questions, we would love you to send them along in an email to info at psalmhypnosiscom. Thank you for being part of the State of Mind community. For more information about hypnosis and the various online or in-person services we provide, please visit our website, wwwpsalmhypnosiscom. The link will be in the notes below. While you are there, why don't you book a free one-hour journey, meeting with Hillary or less, to learn more about what hypnosis is and how you might use it to make your life what you want it to be? Bye for now. Talk to you tomorrow, thank you.
